Momhood

Motherhood, insanity and everyday life.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Things the Parenting Books Won't Tell You

I've been a parent for more than 20 years. I'm neither the best nor the worst parent. None of us are. And yet, along the way, we all learn something. Here are a few tidbits I've figured out over the years:

Don’t teach your toddlers rock songs unless you’re prepared to have them sing them loudly in public.

Don’t encourage your child’s sense of humor unless you’re ready to have it thrown back in your face at the most inappropriate, and unfunny, moment.

If you let your kids listen to show music in the car, know that you are forever doomed to have theatre kids and musicians.

The fast food you buy today to save time and sanity, may encourage a generation of picky eaters only satisfied by Happy Meals.

The first time that you run something over to school that your child forgot at home, will not be the last.

Once you have complained about something (i.e. church, boring meetings, getting up early), you have opened the door to a lifetime of the same from your child.

Never speak badly about a relative and then ask that same person to babysit your kids.

Neatness cannot be taught. Politeness can.

The sins of your own childhood will be returned to you tenfold throughout your parenting career.

Never, I mean NEVER share stories of stupid things you did as a teenager when your children are under the age of 21.

The expensive toys that you worked hard to acquire will never be as interesting to children as the broken toys full of lead and toxic paint.

The good behavior of your child is inversely proportionate to the amount of gossiping that you do about other people's children.

It is impossible to change your own fate through your child. It’s too late.

Despite your best efforts, your child will want to play the instrument that you would least likely prefer to hear played badly.

The day you expect a compliment on a dinner well-prepared or laundry well-done is the day that you will never receive one.

Whining can’t be corrected by yelling.

You can’t hug your child too much, even when they don’t hug back.

13 Comments:

At 2:39 PM , Blogger carli said...

A good list. And I'm very happy to not be a parent, because I'd probably break every rule on the list.

 
At 4:38 PM , Anonymous Anne Glamore said...

Brilliant!
Except for the teen ones, I've experienced them all (except the running stuff to school-- I'm so NOT OPENING THAT bucket o' worms!)

 
At 7:00 AM , Blogger BreadBox said...

As a proud parent of a 3 and a 4 year old, I have to say thanks for the heads up! And I recognize myself and LOML in some of your points:-)

Michele sent me today,
N.

 
At 2:19 PM , Blogger craziequeen said...

[chuckle]

The expensive toys that you worked hard to acquire will never be as interesting to children as the broken toys full of lead and toxic paint.

So true - Michele sent me to check out this excellent list of advice....

cq

 
At 2:28 PM , Blogger -E said...

Heh, great list. And the last one is all too true. Thanks for the kind words you gave me on my post about my mom. It really does mean a lot.

Have a nice weekend. And hug your kids.

 
At 8:26 AM , Blogger Paul said...

Hi Karen,
Here from Michele's. That's an interesting list. I have always (quietly) prided myself on my parenting skills. My kids are now great parents, if you ask me. I can tell from further reading that you are really proud of your own kids.

I'll be back to read more. Maybe even stick you into my blogroll. Nice joint.

 
At 2:30 PM , Anonymous surcie said...

Hey, Karen! I like your advice. Number one resonated with me. My husband is a minister and one Sunday, while my 4 yr old and I were sitting in the pew, waiting for the service to start, my boy was quietly singing something that I couldn't make out--and then he yelled, "TEK-QUEE-AH!" It was the 50s classic, "Tequila" by The Champs.

 
At 5:29 PM , Blogger PI said...

The one thing different I found - was my children really did appreciate hearing that their paragon of a mother occasionally did a naughty thing when she was their age. It made good behaviour somehow more acceptable and attainable.
Michele sends her best.

 
At 5:21 AM , Blogger November Rain said...

LOL LOL LOL LOL

I came over to thank you for coming to my blog and as a mom to a 19 year old and a soon to be 17 year old I quite enjoyed this

esp:

he sins of your own childhood will be returned to you tenfold throughout your parenting career.



The expensive toys that you worked hard to acquire will never be as interesting to children as the broken toys full of lead and toxic paint.



Allow me to add on the latter (or the box it came in ) lol

you forgot never let a child see you cut your hair (or if you do make sure the scissors are put up high)

this is why Psycho monkey at the age of 2 had big gaps in her hair

 
At 8:46 AM , Blogger Carmi said...

Hi there, Karen. I popped over from Michele's on this lovely Labor Day morning to soak up some of your deep wisdom and to thank you for taking the time to put these into words.

This entry belongs on every parent's fridge.

I hope you're having an easy transition out of summer. I think this is going to be one quiet house starting tomorrow. Makes me a little morose.

 
At 7:24 PM , Blogger David said...

simple brilliance, there, Karen
thank you
hr frm michele

 
At 3:41 PM , Blogger Anne said...

Hi Karen, Thanks for stopping by my blog! These are hysterical! and so true! When are you writing a parenting book?

Anne

 
At 9:32 PM , Blogger gautami tripathy said...

That makes sense. I like it very much.

Michele sent me here to tell you that.

 

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