Alpha Mom, Beta Mom - It's All Greek To Me

Sometimes I wonder if we mothers don’t go looking for trouble. When my mother was raising us, the battle was between the June Cleaver moms and the Joan Baez moms. You either had spotless floors or a spotless conscience and never the two shall meet.

By the time I started raising a family, a battle waged between Working Moms and Stay-At-Home moms. The working moms wanted a little slack since they were burning the candles at both ends while they “had it all,” and the stay-at-home moms wanted some credit for sacrificing everything – job, income and identity – for the sake of her family.

Today, the latest war is between the Alpha Moms and the Beta Moms. The Alpha Moms are taking that advanced degree and years of experience climbing the corporate ladder and putting it to work in their own home and their kids’ lives. They’re using spreadsheets to organize soccer teams. They’re creating organizational charts for the PTA. They’re applying their finely-honed business skills to the business of running a family.

The Beta Moms, nicknamed The Slacker Moms, are not sweating the small stuff. They’re more into this maternal gig for the experience, organization be damned. They know that the Alpha Moms will keep micromanaging their children and they’d rather stay out of their way and not conform to their hyper-inflated standards. Basically, they’re telling the Alpha Moms to take a big chill pill.

So who’s right in this war of words and women? In my opinion, they’re both right. A little organization never killed anyone. What’s so wrong about using current technology and techniques and applying them to previously disorganized activities? If your child has ever been on a team or performed in a group, there’s nothing to ruin your day faster than lack of information and organization. If it can save you a trip to a playing field or a rehearsal hall, then bring it on.

But the Slacker Moms also have the right idea. Who says we have to be perfect in this mothering thing? There’s no surer way to secure your kid a lifetime of therapy than you inserting yourself into their life not allowing them to live it. Don’t we read them books every night that talk about how “special” they are and how everyone has their own skills and gifts?

The point is that we should put away our pointer fingers. There isn’t always a right way or a wrong way. We each make our own choices, sacrifices and contributions. What’s right for me is not always right for the mom next door. Just shut up and live your own life. Appreciate the differences and pick up a tip or two along the way. But don’t feel like you have to prove anything to anyone other than yourself. Isn’t parenting already hard enough?