I've Got Me Under My Skin

Well, I find myself in a very interesting place this evening. Where, you ask? Well, I'm home. No, my house isn't especially interesting, although the antique slot machine is a huge attraction for visitors. The point here is that I'm alone. It's me, the cat and the dog and that makes it very quiet. Sure, I'm a stay-at-home mom and I spend many weekdays alone, but this is very different. Hubby is off on a well-deserved leisure trip to Vegas, my son is off at college and my daughter is out with friends. It is Saturday night and I am ALONE.

These aren't desperate times. I do have wonderful friends and if I had really put my mind to it, I could have arranged for something to do this evening. But thinking it over, I realized that this will be something that will occur more often in the next few years. My kids are growing up fast and from time to time, I'm going to have an empty house - whether it's a quiet weekend like this or the random weeknight when my husband goes out of town. I decided that it's time for me to get comfortable in my own skin.

I gotta hand it to you single people. This takes some work. I don't have a lot of hobbies and I don't personally find myself very entertaining. For the first time in years, I have long stretches of empty hours ahead of me and I'm feeling a little...antsy about it all. I'm not quite sure what to do with this newfound freedom.

When my kids were babies or toddlers, I would have given one of them away to get a weekend like this. Back then, I couldn't find a private moment, even in the bathroom, unless it was bathtime for the kids, not me. It was difficult to be comfortable in my own skin because I often had a child or two attached to it. It was hard to know where my skin and life ended and theirs began.

So I decided tonight not to rush to fill the empty hours. Instead, I'm leisurely reading magazines, watching a few rented movies and generally "putzing." I don't know if this is typically what people do alone on a Saturday night, but it's what I'm doing and it's OK.

I'm also going to relish the few nice parts of this solo weekend. When I put things away, they stay there and new things aren't found out of place. I can watch the dumbest TV shows there are and not worry that I'm boring someone else. Chick flicks and more chick flicks. LOTS of room in bed. Not shaving my legs.

Tomorrow, I'll snap out of it and get together with friends and get back to normal. Tonight...well, I might just fall asleep on the couch and not feel guilty about it. Now that's livin' large.

Editor's Note: So after my daughter returned last night, we sat down to watch a movie we had rented the night before: "My Date With Drew" which is a documentary about a guy who has had a lifelong crush on Drew Barrymore and tries to get a date with her within 30 days with only $1,100. My review? It was ADORABLE! It has so much heart and humor. I recommend it to everyone - women, men, even pre-teen kids. (It's rated PG.) Do yourself a favor and rent this movie.