Momhood

Motherhood, insanity and everyday life.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

I've Got Me Under My Skin

Well, I find myself in a very interesting place this evening. Where, you ask? Well, I'm home. No, my house isn't especially interesting, although the antique slot machine is a huge attraction for visitors. The point here is that I'm alone. It's me, the cat and the dog and that makes it very quiet. Sure, I'm a stay-at-home mom and I spend many weekdays alone, but this is very different. Hubby is off on a well-deserved leisure trip to Vegas, my son is off at college and my daughter is out with friends. It is Saturday night and I am ALONE.

These aren't desperate times. I do have wonderful friends and if I had really put my mind to it, I could have arranged for something to do this evening. But thinking it over, I realized that this will be something that will occur more often in the next few years. My kids are growing up fast and from time to time, I'm going to have an empty house - whether it's a quiet weekend like this or the random weeknight when my husband goes out of town. I decided that it's time for me to get comfortable in my own skin.

I gotta hand it to you single people. This takes some work. I don't have a lot of hobbies and I don't personally find myself very entertaining. For the first time in years, I have long stretches of empty hours ahead of me and I'm feeling a little...antsy about it all. I'm not quite sure what to do with this newfound freedom.

When my kids were babies or toddlers, I would have given one of them away to get a weekend like this. Back then, I couldn't find a private moment, even in the bathroom, unless it was bathtime for the kids, not me. It was difficult to be comfortable in my own skin because I often had a child or two attached to it. It was hard to know where my skin and life ended and theirs began.

So I decided tonight not to rush to fill the empty hours. Instead, I'm leisurely reading magazines, watching a few rented movies and generally "putzing." I don't know if this is typically what people do alone on a Saturday night, but it's what I'm doing and it's OK.

I'm also going to relish the few nice parts of this solo weekend. When I put things away, they stay there and new things aren't found out of place. I can watch the dumbest TV shows there are and not worry that I'm boring someone else. Chick flicks and more chick flicks. LOTS of room in bed. Not shaving my legs.

Tomorrow, I'll snap out of it and get together with friends and get back to normal. Tonight...well, I might just fall asleep on the couch and not feel guilty about it. Now that's livin' large.

Editor's Note: So after my daughter returned last night, we sat down to watch a movie we had rented the night before: "My Date With Drew" which is a documentary about a guy who has had a lifelong crush on Drew Barrymore and tries to get a date with her within 30 days with only $1,100. My review? It was ADORABLE! It has so much heart and humor. I recommend it to everyone - women, men, even pre-teen kids. (It's rated PG.) Do yourself a favor and rent this movie.

23 Comments:

At 6:34 PM , Blogger valbee said...

I'm a single mom of twin sons who are 20. One moved out for a year and came home last August.

I had a rough time when they graduated from high school and when my son first moved out... but I truly do relish my alone time in this house, and it comes too infrequently. Of course, it's a well-known fact that I'm difficult to live with.... :)

I'm here thanks to Michele.

 
At 6:59 PM , Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

I know how that is... I'm a stay at home mom too... Glad I found your site. I'll be back!

Michele sent me tonight. Have a good evening.

 
At 8:27 PM , Blogger Carmen said...

Oooh, I'd love some alone time about now. I think I'm slated for some in 2022....

Michele sent me;)

 
At 8:38 PM , Blogger Star said...

Years ago, on one very precious evening all alone, I ate a pint of Ben & Jerry's and called it dinner. It was heaven.

 
At 9:16 PM , Blogger Carmi said...

Sounds idyllic. To flip the coin a tad, I feel something similar when I go out of town on a business trip. I often sit in the hotel room, stare out the window, and revel in the fact that I have nothing to do, and no one is going to tap me on the shoulder to challenge that very stark fact.

Hmm, when's my next trip?

(Promise you won't tell me wife, k?)

 
At 11:29 PM , Blogger Sheesh said...

Enjoy your peace and quiet. Sounds like you deserve it. :) Thanks for visiting my site.

 
At 7:35 AM , Blogger Viamarie said...

Interesting site. Hope you have a relaxing weekend. Michele sent me.

 
At 7:37 AM , Blogger Chrixean said...

Ah...a moment to relish....I'm a WAHM, and it can get VERY busy at home. A moment to myself is GOLD :-)

Here from Michele's today!

 
At 7:46 AM , Blogger Petite Mom Blogger said...

Hey Michelle sent me...I am a stay at home mom too...I have two young boys so in a few ( well atleast 15 years) I'll be experiencing what you are currently experiencing...I'm not sure if I want them to grow up or not...

 
At 7:53 AM , Blogger Viamarie said...

I'm back. Michele sent me.

 
At 8:34 AM , Blogger Erin said...

Isn't it interesting that we spend years wanting the solitude, and then when we know it is upon us, we tend to long for the past? I'm glad you spent time doing "nothing", it's good for the mind.

Have a lovely weekend!

 
At 8:51 AM , Blogger kenju said...

I relish time at home alone. My kids have been gone a good while now, byt mr. kenju is retired and he is here most of the time. :-/

Michele sent me this time.

 
At 2:14 PM , Blogger Suburban Turmoil said...

Oh thanks. I'm glad I'm back because I heard about that documentary and had forgotten about it. And with two teenage stepdaughters, I know we will LOVE it! Thanks for the recommendation!!

 
At 3:34 PM , Blogger Blog This! said...

Im at that point in my life right now that you described so perfectly as not knowing where my own skin ends and separates from my kids (well, one because Im still pregnant). Children have a way of weaving into your life so tightly that once they are gone, even temporarily, you are left feeling very "unwound". For now I am enjoying the closeness with my children, because I know too quickly soon I will be in your Saturday night shoes, alone in a house unwound but not completely comfortable. Thanks for a great post!

 
At 5:25 PM , Anonymous Stephanie Davies said...

I have a son, but he lives with my ex-husband most of the time, so I am always spending my time alone :) Usually I am either on my computer, or doing some type of crafts (incense or candle making, needlepoint, knitting, etc). Even without children around, I find myself to be busy as a bee most of the time!

Thanks for the recommendation of that film - sounds like a movie I would like, so I'll have to check that out!

Here from Michele's tonight!

 
At 7:16 AM , Blogger Shannon said...

here from Micheles but I read you every post, Im glad you enjoyed your "down time"- I however have the toddlers, and would kill for a moment or two alone...Im sure yours is much deserved.

 
At 2:36 PM , Anonymous Claire said...

Sounds like you had a lovely weekend. I absolutely love my own company and just spending time on my own. I'm back with my parents at the moment and it's driving me insane. I cannot wait to get a new place all to myself!

 
At 8:27 AM , Anonymous Janet (fondofsnape@gmail.com) said...

Hmmm...I didn't think you were being abnormal in the least! It's great to have a day to yourself where you do WHAT you want, WHEN you want :-)

Hi, Michele sent me.

 
At 3:05 PM , Blogger Jess Riley said...

Hi from a fellow Wisconsinite! Michele didn't send me. Saw your comment at Penny Pressed. I need to find out who this Michele character is...

 
At 6:37 AM , Blogger mar said...

I am getting some of these evenings myself too. I truly enjoy them because I know I won't be alone the next one. It would be different otherwise!

 
At 7:01 AM , Blogger Sandy said...

sounds like a delightful evening.

 
At 8:31 AM , Blogger jason evans said...

I have two young daughters. Right now I can't even imagine a silent house. I'm sure the same thing seems like yesterday for you.

 
At 7:21 AM , Blogger panthergirl said...

Since I have commented on every other post here, I'll pick this one!

Being single has its ups and downs. Being a single (or in my case only) parent has its ups and downs too. While it's very hard in many ways (business travel is one of my biggest challenges. Finding babysitters is one thing...finding someone who can keep your kid overnight is something else entirely!), there are times when I'm glad not to have to come to consensus about some decisions.

Glad you were able to enjoy your quiet time. It's so important. Me, I'm probably more guilty of not doing stuff that should be done because I'd rather read, or blog... bad me!

Here by way of michele!

 

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