The Short List Just Got Shorter

The list is growing shorter. In fact, if I were honest, I probably don't want to count how many names are on it. It's not even a real list. It's more or less in my mind, there to reassure me that I have nothing to worry about. What is this list, you ask? Why, it's the list of people in prominent positions that are older than me...of course. Allow me to explain.

Since I was young, I've kept a mental list of everyone important that was older than me. This list gave me hope and challenges and goals. Most of all, it gave me time. When I was a child, the list consisted of...well, everyone. My teachers, the principal, the mayor, the president, most movie stars, astronauts...and on and on. As I grew, it was fun to find out about the random child actor or prodigy that had done something noteworthy but it was better to know that most people with responsibility were older.

In high school, the list became a bit of self-imposed peer pressure. There were suddenly a few people no longer on the list that had already done something. After college, the list gave me a false sense of security. As long as most of the significant people were older than me, I still had time to accomplish something...anything.

Today, the list just got shorter. Actually, it shortens every day, but I just choose to ignore it. Today,the Green Bay Packers chose a new coach and he is younger than me. For so many years, virtually every coach in the NFL was older than me. It made me feel comforted to know that these father figures were leading our athletes. I've never had a desire to be an NFL coach, but in some bizarre way, I liked knowing that the coach of my favorite team had at least a little more life experience than me. Today, I found out that the new Packers' head coach is three years younger than me. For some reason, this is messing with my mind.

You see, I like to know that people in positions of leadership and notoriety are older than me. I'm not sure if it's because I can't imagine doing what they do or if it's because it brings them down to earth...I guess it just makes them fallible. For instance it helps me enormously to know that the leader of the free world is almost 60 years old...and I'm not. Even if I disagree with whoever is holding an office, I want to know that they have a little more wear and tear on their tires than I do.

What it comes down to, for me, is that I believe with age comes wisdom. A couple of months ago, I hit 45, which, on the wisdom scale is getting there. I'm not sure I feel as wise as I should which is where the list comes into play. As long as there is a list, everything will be OK. The important question is, do the people who aren't on the list know what the hell they're doing?

Today isn't really the first time this has all occurred to me. For the past several years, my kids' teachers are all starting to be younger than me. Most of the hot Hollywood actors are younger than me and those that are playing older roles are, gasp, my age. The guy that teaches me tennis is a lot younger than me and he was probably in diapers when Chrissy Evert hit her stride.

Here's an abbreviated version of the list: George W. Bush, Bill Clinton, Barbara Walters, Bill Gates, Tom Hanks, Meryl Streep, Joe Montana, Pope Benedict XVI, Nelson Mandela, Oprah Winfrey, Neil Armstrong, Caroline Kennedy....well, you get the idea.

The list has variations. For instance, it used to be selfishly reassuring to know that it was always people older than me having various age-related ailments. Just this week I found out that a female high school classmate died of a heart attack. It doesn't hit much closer to home than that. Apparently, we're all mere mortals, despite what we've hoped all along. Obviously age isn't a sign of intelligence or good health. There are exceptions to this all around me, if I simply pay attention.

In any case, I choose to be blissfully ignorant of all of these facts and I'm about ready to exercise my right to "reverse agism." I believe that my being older than these "list dropouts" gives me the privilege of criticizing their every move...if only because they're younger than me. Darn whippersnappers!