Rude Awakening

This past weekend, my friend Joy* experienced what I'd call a mid-life crisis one-two punch. On Saturday, her oldest daughter was married. On Sunday, she turned 50. The only thing that prevented it from becoming a hat trick was that she did not become a grandmother on Monday.

In terms of life-changes, I'd say she hit the motherlode (forgive the pun.) As I stood in the church watching her beautiful daughter walk down the aisle, I became sort of weepy thinking how this was the first of my friends whose children were getting married, meaning that my life was going to change soon as well. But when I woke up the next day, I was relieved to be a blissful 5 years away from the big FIVE-OH! (Hey, you count your blessings when you find 'em, right?)

Joy, on the other hand, handled it all with grace, style and operating under the radar. She absolutely forbid anyone from singing her Happy Birthday during the reception. Knowing Joy, it was so as not to steal attention away from the bride and groom. If it were me, it would be to continue a cycle of bold denial.

Age has never bothered me. I've never hidden my age and will happily share it with anyone that asks. (OK, I'm 45, if you must know.) But for some reason, thinking of Joy and this weekend's double-whammy felt overwhelming...to me. Being a mom is a constant reminder of how old you are. As your children age, you do too - twice as fast, it seems. Your kids constantly remind you that you're old and have no clue what they're about. Although they're often right, you never, EVER admit it. Yes, I readily give out my age now, but I'm honestly not sure how I'm going to feel about doing it in five years.

I'm sure part of Joy's secret is that she has aged extremely well. She looks much younger than me and has blessedly avoided the paunch and jowls that plague so many of us. As firmly as I believe in the phrase "you're as young as you feel," I can't help but feel jealous lately when I run into younger moms or women blessed with Hilton, Lohan or Witherspoon genes. (Of course the fact that they probably exercise, um, WAY more than me or actually pass up the pastry samples in the grocery store might have something to do with their fantastic figures.)

Nevertheless, time marches on and with it go our bodies, our children and our lives. Life-changing events, like weddings and significant birthdays can be wake-up calls for all of us. They force us to think back, which is easy, and look ahead, which becomes a little harder to do with each passing year. Thank goodness I have Joy to teach me how to do it well.

*Names were changed to protect the aging.