Your Secret's Safe With Me

I'm quite taken with a new book. It's called PostSecret by Frank Warren. Here's how he explains the book: "In November 2004, I printed 3,000 postcards inviting people to share a secret with me: something that was true, something they had never told anyone. I handed out these cards at subway stations, I left them in art galleries, and I slipped them between the pages of library books. Then, slowly, secrets began to find their way to my mailbox."

PostSecret is a collection of just some of the postcards that have been sent to Warren. They are sad, funny, intriguing and extremely revealing. Yet, every one of them is anonymous.

What fascinated me, besides the thrill of reading other peoples' secrets, were those that related to parenthood. Here are three:

Sometimes I want to run away from home. I'm 38, married with a child.

I don't take my kids to the playground because I don't like talking to the other moms.

I feel guilty about sometimes wishing that I didn't have children. I don't dare say it out loud for fear I might trigger something bad happening to them.

Throughout this book there are secrets that perhaps many of us share. Some are silly and some are heartbreaking. Those that deal with parenthood are the ones that really struck a chord with me. Why? Because parenthood is a sacred entity that you just don't mess with. Yet, who can fault someone for unburdening themselves from admitting that we're not always Ward and June Cleaver?

Let's look at the three secrets above: I've often wanted to run away from home. Usually the urge comes when a child is having a meltdown and the house looks like a bomb exploded. Yet, I stay because, well, I'm rational and also because I need that melting down child to eventually take care of me when I can't remember where I left my teeth.

I can't begin to count the places I've avoided when I just had no interest in talking to other moms. In fact, I sit alone in my car, even in splendid weather, waiting for my daughter after school so I can avoid the "Parking Lot Momfia" and their endless chitchat and gossip.

Have I ever wished I didn't have children? Probably not, but there were countless times when I wondered whether I was cut out for the job. I agree with this secret writer, this is something that even thinking about opens the door to bad karma.

I think Frank Warren has done the world a great service. He's allowed people to unload their unspeakable thoughts without really hurting anyone. As parents, I think we need more of this. We need to know that we might not be perfect, but we're definitely not alone in our imperfection.

So next time you feel like launching one of your kids into the next universe, sit down, take out a postcard, and write to Frank. (PostSecret, 13345 Copper Ridge Rd., Germantown, MD 20874.)