Project Chicken

The other day my teenage daughter and I were out together. She apparently saw a girl that she deemed somewhat of a fashion victim. She turned to me and said: “You’d think that girl’s mom would tell her that what she’s wearing looks horrible. You’d tell me wouldn’t you?”

Silence.

More silence.

I finally replied: “Well, honey, it’s a tricky thing because, as you know, I know absolutely nothing about fashion and therefore really wouldn’t be qualified to say what looks good or horrible.” And as I said this, I bit my tongue...in several places.

I then continued: “You see, many kids don’t want to hear, or don’t care about their parents’ opinion of their clothing choices. It’s a very touchy subject.” I proceeded to look around for the bullet I just dodged.

I think she understood, but I also think I did a really good job of selling her on my response. I don’t always like what she wears, but, according to her, I have absolutely no business saying what does or doesn’t look good. I do draw the line at inappropriate, but beyond that, I gotta tell you, it’s a very, very grey area. Who am I to say that wearing more than one t-shirt seems, well, excessive? And giant sunglasses? Sure, they make girls look like bugs, but hey, they’re hot! Um, OK.

According to a recent AP Poll, 65% of those surveyed said that it is at least sometimes OK to lie when trying to protect someone’s feelings. And folks, I may not know fashion, but I do know that parenting a teenage girl is all about the feelings. Good. Bad. Sad. Happy. You name a feeling and it will fly through your household during the teen years. And if you have a choice, I strongly recommend staying away from the bad and the sad ones, but that’s up to you.

I'm also a big believer in picking and choosing my battles. Hanging around losers and druggies? Big battle. Fashion? A battle I can afford to lose.

When parents talk about whether or not they’re the “mean parent” or the “nice parent,” I always think of myself as the “chicken parent.” Sure, I’m there day after day, and of course I’ll be right there whenever they truly need me, but if there is a sure-fire exit to conflict avoidance, I’m taking it.

So when it comes to matters of couture, you can be sure that the closest I’ll come to commenting is which contestant I prefer on “Project Runway.” Cluck, cluck, cluck.