Just One Thing

As I was walking my dog the other day, it occurred to me that we’ve become a society that no longer does just one thing at a time. A car passed me by and in that car was a man in a business suit. He was driving, presumably to work, and he was talking on his cell phone. It reminded me of one of my former bosses who would dictate letters as he drove to work. And then I realized, that unlike that fellow in the car, I was doing just one thing at that moment. I was walking my dog. Sure, I wanted to listen to the radio while I walked, but my headphones had been “borrowed” months ago by my daughter, so it was just me, the dog, and a couple of plastic bags.

That’s when I realized, we have become chronic multi-taskers. Back in the 1980s and 1990s, when new, best-selling business books were written practically every week (“Who Moved My Cheese?,” “The One-Minute Manager,” “The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People”), I was a young mother working full-time and in desperate need of more hours in my day. I’d read these books in hopes that they’d provide the one idea that would make my life easier. None of them really did, but what they all seemed to preach was being more efficient with your time. Don’t waste your lunch hour just eating lunch. Sure, eat your lunch, but then run an errand or two. Now this was something I could handle. No, I couldn’t run a business meeting to save my life, but I could certainly get more done with my free time than the next guy...or girl.

So I started packing more into my lunch hours than my mom probably packed into her entire day when she was a young mother. I worked close enough to home, and various stores, that I could grocery shop, run home and unload groceries, throw in a load of clothes, sort through the mail, and get back to work as I was downing the last bits of my fast-food lunch. I’d drive and make phone calls. I’d visit doctors or fill out camp applications. The important thing was that at all times, when I wasn’t working, I was doing more than just one thing. To me, it was the only way to manage my seemingly unmanageable life as a working mother.

I did this for several years until it no longer became a badge of honor and I’d long for the moments when I was in my car and had forgotten my cell phone – held captive and only able to drive. Or sometimes I’d grab lunch, park my car near one of our parks and read a magazine. Those were the lunches that seemed so wasteful, so frivolous, so unproductive...so relaxing. I’d never allow myself to do that two days in a row. That would be irresponsible of me.

Eventually, I left my job and merged my life into that of a stay-at-home mom. As I worried about life in the slower lane, I still fell into my old habits of doing two things at once. While I waited to pick up kids from school, I’d return phone calls. Doctors’ and Dentists’ waiting rooms became my personal offices where I’d read school newsletters and important mail. Walking the dog became an opportunity to listen to a book club selection on tape.

But lately, I’m starting to teach myself the joy of just one thing. To sit and read a book without throwing a load of laundry in beforehand. To walk the dog and listen only to my thoughts. To drive somewhere and listen to the radio or, gasp!, turn off the radio and listen to nothing at all. I have to tell you that it’s really, really hard. But, as always, I have a hidden agenda.

I think that our next generation, our children, are far too overscheduled. I think they pack more into their days than our ancestors did into a lifetime. And for what? They are stressed out, overworked, under-rested, overfed (eating fast food while riding in a minivan to sports practice will do that) and pretty darn crabby. I recently spoke to a mom during our kids’ graduation week. She was pretty bummed out about all of the celebratory events that were planned and said: “I can’t wait for this week to be over.” I thought that was really sad and I encouraged her to try and enjoy it since this was her youngest child. She definitely had no interest in that piece of advice.

The good news is that I think things are changing a little bit. Lately, I’m hearing parents say that they’re NOT signing their kids up for multiple summer camps because they want their kids to be able to enjoy summer and just be kids. What a novel concept! Alas, in today’s world, it’s still not a popular one.

I know, I know, it’s easy for me to sit here and preach: “DON’T DO SO MUCH! STOP MULTI-TASKING!” That’s a tall order. But I guess I’d like to condone the virtues of doing a little bit less. Pick and choose, or, maybe don’t choose and one day just go with the flow and don’t do anything. That’s right. Get bored. Listen to the silence or the street noises and walk without a soundtrack blasting through your ear buds or a cell phone in your pocket. I think it sets a great example for our kids. Living life one thing at a time.