OMG! WRUD?!*

BM&Y, PXT AEP BCOZ IDGI. BOL FWIW BCOZ IM is a WOMBAT IYKWIM. G2G POS SC :-p **

If you can read that, you’re either 14 years old, spend way too much time on AIM (AOL Instant Messenger) or are intuitive in a strange and creepy way. No, folks, what I’ve written above might actually make sense to your teenage children and very little sense to you, which is exactly what your kids want. Welcome to the world of Instant Messaging, a universe filled with acronyms, emoticons and an alphabet soup-looking language that is seemingly way too complicated to understand, unless you’re a teen.

The power of Instant Messaging, or IMing as it’s known to your kids, is that it’s fast, it’s fun and parents don’t understand it. The genius of it is that, as you can see above, our kids have created this language that is so insanely abbreviated that we have virtually (pardon the pun) no interest in trying to decipher it. Right under our noses, our teens are carrying on conversations that are probably not as bad as we think they might be, but because it’s in this secret code, it kinda scares us. And don’t get me started about the potential of losing the ability to spell.

No more are teens hiding out in bathrooms or closets having secret conversations with the phone cord stretched to its limits. Now they’re sitting on the computer typing out something that looks like the dog walked across the keyboard. And they’re having these conversations with ten or more friends at a time. Yes, you probably have a gaggle of teens in your living room and you don’t even know it.

I first realized the power of IMing when we had a computer malfunction and my daughter screamed out: “What?! I lost my buddy list and I had over 200 names on it!!!” Now, I’m around my daughter’s friends a lot and I’m pretty sure that there aren’t 200 of them, but through the power of IMing, she’s talking to kids I’ve never heard of, let alone met. When kids meet new kids, they don’t exchange phone numbers, they exchange screen names. They add the screen names to their buddy lists and then they know when their friends, old and new, are online. If people leave “Away Messages,” they know what lots of these people are doing. It’s not unusual for me to sit in front of our computer and find out that “MrBagel” is taking a shower, doing homework or looking for food. Why they want to know this about each other, I’m not sure I understand, but it’s there for everyone to see.

It’s a little scary, but I’m trying not to panic about it or jump to any horrible conclusions. My daughter and I have regular conversations about who she should and shouldn’t speak to online and what she should or shouldn’t do. OK, correction. I say things to her about online safety and try and ask her as many probing questions as she’ll tolerate until I’m satisfied that she’s not IMing with pedophiles.

A while back I had the brilliant idea that I’d try and communicate with my kids via IMing. Since I was a fast typist, I thought it would be a great way to stay in touch with my son when he was away at college. For some reason, complete sentences are frowned upon in the world of IMing – my first inexplicable discovery. This is also when I found out about how they can block certain screen names if people are bothering them. At first I was irritated that I was blocked on my kid’s buddy list, until I realized that this was a good safety option for them to use against unsavory acquaintances with whom they had regrettably exchanged screen names.

It would be easy to dismiss IMing as a flawed and immature form of adolescent communication. However, I think it has its positive attributes. For one, unless they abuse the privilege of being on people’s buddy list, all kids are generally equal when they IM. It’s a world in which it’s not really important whether you are cute, skinny or wear the coolest clothes. For once, the power is in the hands of the quick and the clever and I can attest to friendships that have been formed and preserved through IMing. It also saves on cell phone bills, although perhaps at the expense of computer availability in a shared computer household. As with anything, it should be done in moderation. IMHO your kids will be ROFL if you give IMing a try. HTH, L8R! (Ask your kids what this means.)

*Translation: Oh my God! What Are You Doing?!)
**Translation: Between you and me, please explain that, as early as possible, because I don’t get it. Best of luck for what it’s worth because instant messaging, it’s a waste of brains, money and time, if you know what I mean. Gotta go, parent over shoulder. Stay cool.