Homecoming Score

It's starting to get tricky all of a sudden, this multi-child parenting. It never used to be a problem. I have 3 children. I have an almost-18 year old son going to school 6 hours away, a 13-year old daughter in 8th grade and an almost-19 year old son who is severely developmentally disabled and lives in a care facility an hour away. Because of ages and circumstances, I could generally give them equal bits of my attention, time and love. Suddenly, I've created a mini issue.

My college son is coming home this weekend. We haven't seen him since August 16th, 2005 at 7:45 am. (Not that I'm counting the days/hours/minutes.) Up until college, we never spent a lot of time apart. There was the week he spent at Boy Scout Camp about 5 years ago. Then there's the 5 days that my husband and I spend together, every year, without the kids. Besides that, we saw him a lot and that was fine with us...and him. Fast-forward to this summer and suddenly we find ourselves miles apart. We miss him a lot, and he misses home quite a bit. His sister, on the other hand, doesn't miss him at all.

Sooooooo....I've been really looking forward to his visit this weekend. And I realized that I've been voicing that excitement just a bit too loudly. Parents approach me at school and ask about college boy, to which I, apparently, practically shout: HE'S COMING HOME THIS WEEKEND! I did this about 5 times until I realized that my daughter was both watching me and keeping score.

Two months ago, in my daughter's world, all things were pretty much equal. Suddenly, her brother's greatly anticipated appearance is the social event of the season...at least to me and my husband. I can sense that she's feeling...a bit less important. She was with me at the grocery store when I started stocking up on her brother's favorite foods and I could just hear her thought process: "Man, how long do I have to be gone before she starts stocking the pantry for me?"

It's a natural reaction on her part and she forgets that she's been the only child for the past two months. But it's also my responsibility to be sensitive to her feelings and tone down the festivities a bit. (Perhaps the marching band was a tad much. I kid.)

What she doesn't notice is my clandestine plot to keep her nearby when it's her turn to head off to college. Just yesterday I mentioned a program at the local university that might interest her...but first she has to get through 8th grade. Um, I guess I'm going a little overboard there. Hey, I'm a mom. Can you blame me?