The Life of Mommy

One of my favorite magazine columnists is Rick Reilly, who writes for Sports Illustrated. His column, The Life of Reilly, is on the last page of SI and the topic of his September 19th column was the genesis for my last post. This weekend, I reread his column and came upon this paragraph:

O.K., so maybe Molly Shattuck makes you want to nail her with a cream pie. Not me. I don't get all these moms who say, "My kids are my life." They spend every Saturday watching their kids play in yet another soccer tournament and every Saturday night sitting in some icebox watching their 4,008th hockey practice. Their conversational skills range from "Amber is kicking butt in field hockey" to "Amber loves goalie camp." That's great, but since when does Amber starting mean you ending? Get out there!

I saw those last two sentences and I cringed. On the one hand, he's right. Mothers are often guilty of abandoning their own hopes, dreams and aspirations to feed, clothe, nurture and love their children. Sometimes we cheer too loudly for our kids even when nobody cheers for us. I can't speak for all stay-at-home moms, but my conversational skills have fallen off the radar.

On the other hand, and this hand is WAAAAAYYY bigger than that first hand, that's part of the freakin' job description! In many cases, it's what men like Rick Reilly have asked us to do for the sake of the family. Some of us feed, clothe, nurture, love and add to the family bottom line. Others stay home and try to make the bottom line stretch as far as possible. In both cases, sacrifices are being made for the family.

And now, here's prehistoric Rick Reilly telling us that it's not good enough. He wants us to slim down, shape up and "get out". I guess he wants us to drop the laundry basket and pick up a barbell. And he wants us to pay for this how? Most of us are not married to a millionaire or have a 30-hour per week nanny. And Rick, shall I iron and starch your shirts before or after I write my Pulitzer Prize-winning novel?

When will men like Rick Reilly realize that motherhood is a full-time job, whether you work outside the home or not? Some of us have dreamed all our lives of sitting in the stands cheering for "Amber" and her teammates. Do we do it at the expense of our own personal goals? Sometimes. Will our worlds come crashing down on us when Amber goes off to college and leaves us with an emptier laundry basket? Perhaps, but that's the chance we take.

To say that a life devoted to children is less worthwhile than one that has children and a glamorous career, is a slap in face of centuries of motherhood. At the risk of being a drama queen, motherhood is all about sacrifice. It's day after day of putting everyone's needs ahead of your own. Now I agree that we have to take time for ourselves, but to flippantly command: "Get out there!" without an appreciation for what we do on a daily basis is just plain ignorant.

Sure, Molly Shattuck has it all and does it all. But I'll bet if you asked her, even she would say that she's made sacrifices to have this life about which Rick Reilly is so enamored.

So Rick, next time you go to a soccer tournament, don't sit down next to the woman who obsesses over Amber. In fact, try to sit next to the Molly Shattuck in the crowd. Oh wait, you might not find her there. She didn't have time to watch the tournament so she sent the nanny.

What's the old adage? Oh yeah, "Ignorance is bliss." Rick Reilly must be pretty darn blissful right now.