Motherhood, insanity and everyday life.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Fashion Victim

Apparently a memo has gone out from the FIA (Fashion Institute of America) to our teenage children. I haven't seen it, because I'm not on the distribution list, but I've done some research and I'm pretty sure it reads something like this:


TO: American Teenager
FROM: Fashion Institute of America

SUBJECT: What's Hot

Wear shirts....lots of them. Make them tight. Never wear the same shirts in the daytime as you do at night. Try shirts on....lots of them. If they don't look right, (they never do the first time) just throw them on the floor. You'll pick them up later....YEAH RIGHT!! Buy shirts...lots of them. If you think you have enough shirts, you don't. In fact, if you're not shopping right now, well, it's too late.

Sponsored by American Eagle/Gap/Limited/Express/Abercrombie & Fitch/Hollister/Hot Topic/Old Navy.....

Suffice it to say I'm doing more laundry than the local Best Western. And in a maddening case of Deja Vu, the same shirts are returning to my laundry room....virtually every day. It's insanity.

And I have to tell you from personal experience, there's no reasoning with these teens. If you try to explain that you just took them shopping yesterday, well, duh, that was YESTERDAY.

And don't get me started on the jeans. How many pairs does one human need? They all look the same, but apparently, 12 is not enough. I shouldn't go public with this, but to me, the beauty of jeans is that you wear them till they can walk on their own. They hide dirt and you never worry about what they look like. Well, apparently, the jeans have been hanging out with the shirts and love to go for a tumble in my washer and dryer.

There are days when I feel I hope that I'm on a new episode of PUNK'D. It's like I'm trapped in this funhouse of horror and there are dirty shirts and jeans falling all around me and I can't wash them fast enough.

Calgon, take me away......


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