You know you're a mother when....

Your child criticizes where you leave her lunch on the counter every morning.

You do your kids' laundry first, even if you're nearly out of underwear, because it's the path of least complaints.

Your lunch consists of the leftovers that nobody else would think of eating.

Your dinner consists of what your kids pushed around their plates.

You cry at the first notes of any sad song played within the walls of a school building.

You make big events out of first and last days of school, usually escaping the notice of your children.

You actually consider wiping off and using the piece of bread that fell on the floor amidst the dog hair because if you walk in the grocery store again they'll arrest you for loitering.

You have a list in your head of the inventory of every office supply, variety and drug store within 3 miles of your home, along with their hours of operation thereby avoiding panic on Sunday evening when your child announces that they need a poster board...for tomorrow.

You've learned how to smile enthusiastically when your child asks you to read their English paper, even when it makes absolutely no sense and could bore a monk to tears.

You know which are the really fun volunteer jobs and which ones should be considered work-release for felons.

You have to hide your excitement when it's the first day back at school. Conversely, you try not to cry on the last day of school, knowing that your house will be invaded by children 24/7...all summer long.

You choose your clothes based on what will least embarass your children.

You can't imagine when you'll ever have an empty nest but know that it will be a sad day when you do.