You Don't Scare Me, I Have Kids

I can't believe that people are even bothering to leave their houses. Don't they know that there's DANGER lurking everywhere? Don't they realize we are in harm's way? Don't they watch the news lately?!

Tonight on the 10pm news, I kid you not, there will be a story on the horrifying germs that are coating the high chairs in restaurants!! GASP!! I'm just shocked! I can't believe that something that is used for toddlers to eat in - toddlers that drool and sniffle and sneeze - has germs on it. This is apparently so bad that it warrants an investigative report. Thank God they've uncovered this health epidemic.

What are they serious?! Haven't they ever seen the inside of a minivan - a real minivan that carries real children? It would make those high chairs look immaculate.

Every year during sweeps periods (November and May), our local news channels promote the hell out of non-news stories that are intended to scare the bejeezus out of us. If it's not filthy high chairs, it's scam artists, predators, dangerous appliances or...diseases that are spreading!! I still remember the special report about things falling off of shelves at WalMart. Man, and I thought I had to worry about dodging the elderly greeter! In fact our local news even has a REGULAR segment called "What's Going Around." Yeah, just what I want to think about while I'm falling asleep.

The real reason they do this is for ratings, but apparently we viewers are just dumb enough or bored enough to watch this crap over and over again.

Look, I know that there are dirty high chairs in restaurants. I also know that life can be dangerous. There's dirt, there are things that fall, things to trip over, people that want to steal your money. But honestly, is this what we should really be worrying about?

How about a realistic story like "Your children might live at home forever if they don't start filling out their college applications!" Or, here's one: "You'll get fat if you eat too much and sit and watch TV every night." Here's my favorite: "Your house is a mess and people are coming over for Thanksgiving." Now THAT'S scary!

Look, as a mom, I've seen and heard it all. No "investigative report" is going to help me or scare me. After all, I have kids, which is sometimes the scariest reality show of all!