Stealing Time

It is no surprise to my family that I am sometimes a little slow on the uptake…or the download…or the joke…or pretty much anything that requires moderate to heavy thought. It takes me a while to realize the full breadth of a situation until the time when the situation has passed and my presence in it or knowledge of it is no longer required. Which is exactly why I’m finding myself a bit behind the proverbial eight ball lately.

You see, I have teenagers and here’s what the front page of my newspaper should have read this morning: NEWS FLASH! YOUR KIDS WOULD RATHER SPEND TIME WITH THEIR FRIENDS THAN YOU. Sure, they like my husband and me just fine, but it threw me for a bit of a loop this weekend when my son came home from college for a visit and exactly none of his plans included us…until I said something…and then I think he just felt sorry for us and modified his plans. My teenage daughter no longer has any interest in attending movies with me unless her entire freshman class is unavailable or I’m taking her shopping afterwards.

I’m really not mad or sad or even disappointed. Really. It’s just that as I’ve been carving time and space out of my life for my kids, little by little, they’re squirming away. Sort of like escaping your aunt’s suffocating hugs at family outings. They’re nice and all, but enough’s enough.

I generally think of myself as sensitive to my kids’ likes and dislikes, but I have to say that it’s finally dawning on me that they are moving on which means that my time to do the same is frighteningly near. My husband and I and our house are merely a waypoint in their life – an oasis, a filling station, an ATM, a restaurant, a hotel and a laundromat. When they are here, it’s because their friends are busy. And that’s OK. It’s truly what I would have wished for my kids if I had been asked about this when they were toddlers. (Frankly, when they were toddlers, I would have sold them on eBay to the highest bidder in order to get 10 minutes alone.)

I’m pretty sure that these are the early warning signs for Empty Nest Syndrome. Also known as “You should really get a life because your kids already have.” So I will. But this doesn’t mean that I can’t use my maternal wiles to lure my offspring back once in a while. They’re human. They can’t always resist their favorite foods…free of charge. Or a basement with a television for them and their friends…complete with a stocked fridge. And personal laundry service – they can’t beat that. No quarters needed. Yeah, pretty much I’ve decided I’ll do whatever it takes to get those precious moments with my kids, regardless of whether they feel the same.

And, in case you’re wondering: No, I don’t play fair and no, bribery is not below me.