It's a Dirty Job, but Somebody's Got to Do It

There are some things that my mom forgot to mention about motherhood. She never talked about the sleep deprivation or the terrible sense of low-self-esteem that develops after your children tell you or infer that they hate you. The other thing she never mentioned was dealing with vomit. Tonight our cat threw up. This happens about twice a month. By some biological miracle, I'm the only one in the house who can hear this happening. Because of this, and the fact that I don't want to find it by stepping in it, I always get to clean it up. A couple of weeks ago, the dog threw up and...you guessed it - mom to the rescue. While we were on our vacation, my daughter threw up in her plane seat and in every garbage can in the Frankfurt airport. I began collecting airsick bags thinking this would never end. Somehow we made it through this. It was icky, but I do think it's somewhere hidden in the small type of the mom job description. And now I've become pretty good at dealing with this. I've developed a strong stomach and a quick hand with paper towels. I'm adept at soothing, reassuring and freshening the air afterwards. By now, I think I could get a job in post-crime scene clean-up. I have friends who wouldn't think of handling these situations - they actually send their husbands in - this wouldn't work in our house but it's OK. You see this allows me to bow out when the least little mention of finances comes up. Seems fair.